Last year I did something that many students will never do. I lived away from Oxford/Wilmslow road. Okay, I only lived at the back of the university, but I was still in Longsight, opposite a huge council estate, up a road few would dare to venture up after dark. This year though I have ended up in student central, Oak House.
1) Students have no memory/common sense
To those of you who sleep, live and eat in the UMIST campus, feel lucky you have never experienced the hell that is a bus ride to uni. Last year I only had a five-minute cycle up empty roads, the only incident was when some dopey girl walked out in front of a bus I was overtaking (legally) without looking and splattered me across the road.
What annoys me is that everybody gets on the busses, asks one after the other for the university, then rummages around in their coats to find a wallet or a purse (not having the foresight to get it ready) they then go through all the change and produce a pound coin. Not knowing the fare is okay on Stagecoach or UK north, who’s drivers make up the fares at random, but both are extortionate (why else does UK North have Dick Turpin written on all its white buses if not to associate it with Highway Robbery) and they should have worked out by now not to use them is you haven’t a pass.
Then on the way home, every single first year has to ask is the bus goes to Fallowfield, this continues on for months. They either get on or get off a bus at a shelter or stop with bus numbers clearly marked, it doesn’t take a genius not to flag down the National Express to Aberdeen to ask if he goes near Oak House.
2) Students can’t cook
Okay, I accept I’ve been with a couple of gourmets in my time in Manchester, but I’ve also lived with people who will survive totally on Pot Noodles & Pasta ‘n’ Sauce and frankly this worried me. Okay, I can understand that there are those who have spent all their life subsisting off their parents and have spent their 1st years in Victoria Park halls dining on caviar and truffles, who when faced with the real world either want to fit in, forced my necessity to cook the Pot Noodles as it is the limits of their talents, or have a hamper delivered every week by mater. But please for got sake, experiment, Supermarkets have more isles full of ingredients, not just baked beans and toast.
3) Students don’t obey laws
How many times have you almost been hit by a student on a bike jumping a pedestrian crossing? I’m a cyclist myself and I can’t count the number of near misses I’ve had because I slow down for red lights. Even we, the future leaders of our country have to obey traffic lights.
Plus students are thieves, we may live in the mist of the one of the most crime infested metropolises in the world, but there is no need to add to it. It starts with some freshers nicking pieces from Large Scale Connect Four in Robinskis so that nobody can use it, and continues through Student Direct [Manchester University Student 'Newspaper'] hero worshipping some tosser who got caught nicking Onion Bajis from a kebab shop.
After living with a road sign dump at the end of my road, I no longer see the point of taking cones, they are only fun if you naked and sitting on them, enough said.
The other week a group of girls nicked a JCB and tried to dig up part of my halls. These are our country's future leaders.
4) Students can’t take their drink
Or they do not know how to drink. Thank you to the two girls who asked the staff in Harry’s Bar [UMIST Student Bar]if they did Margaritas. In student land we drink beer or sprits not cocktails. I think that freshers with a low alcohol tolerance are to mainly blame for the 1st 3 points, but its society that holds the blanket of stereotypes that you conform to in your all to easily reached drunkenness
5) Students have no free will
Okay, so far in the last 3 years, UMIST students have lost computer access at Manchester, have had to pay tuition fees and have dropped out the NUS. Okay the last one isn’t really a bad thing, but somebody should have raised a fuss at least, but we’ve done nothing about any of them. Years of MTV have left us without a will, accepting a tax on knowledge imposed by a threatened government. My teachers told have me of how they stood up for themselves, the student riots in France, how they shut down the city. Across the world, students are the force that governments fear the most, the Chinese massacred them , the Serbs tried to stop them voting. What do students here in Britain do, we moan and write articles.
I hate students because we have one of the loudest voices in the world, yet we whisper. We have the power, but we don’t use it. This is why I hate students, we are all a bunch of hypocrites.
Why I Hate Students